#15 Sensual Gifts Of Menopause — Kelly Atkins
Menopause is a sacred and honoring time. It´s a transition from the outward sexy to a depth of sensuality that gifts intuition and refined pleasure.
Kelly Atkins, Ceremonialist and DJ, shares with us her experience of sensuality along her lifeline from being a very girly girl making flower salads to the sheep in the farm she grew up, to her struggles with eating disorders through teen age, healing through her discovery of music and dance, the sensuality in breastfeeding, witnessing her elder´s son sensuality through cooking and food adornment, to her current going through menopause and receiving gifts of refined sensuality that it brings.
Enjoy the highlighted quotes on menopause below and watch the complete interview at the end of this post.
What Are The Sensual Gifts Of Menopause?
It's like your body's doing something and you, you're watching it, you're the observer of it. I'm finding pleasure and sensory connection, sensuality through.
Through my body is completely different than it was when I when I felt younger and juicy. You're in like a sexy outward sexy way.
Now it feels more like it's an it's an very sacred and honoring time. So I'm a little shaky about even talking about it. There's almost like I'm in it still I'm in the transition of it. So I don't feel like I'm in authority of it. But it's intense and it's a it's honoring the deep emotions and the grief.
You know, letting really letting go of making hope you know of who identified myself is a sexy, I felt sexy, I felt like and as I'm getting older, the sexy is different. It's not in the juicy, it's in the it's in the wisdom. It's in the I'm deeper. A deeper looking at life in a more depth.
Get Sensual Insights And Intuitions
There's a there's a sensuality in that of seeing the bigger picture more of having insights and intuitions that are freakingly amazing who don't like the come through and I'm like, well you know, whatever that just came through or that choice I made was so right.
Really noticing how there is a shift and a change.
How There´s A Lot More Creativity Getting Older
In the mind as a woman gets older, and there's also a lot more creativity than I think that creativity that's blossoming is related to the intuition. And if it's related to my children are getting older. They're going to be out of the nest in another five to 10 years. Yeah, five or 10 years and so.
What´s The Purpose Of Body And Sexuality
I'm thinking like, what, what is the purpose of my body and my sexuality? It looks different. It feels different. I like comfort a lot more. And I'm not and I'm way more aware of the difference of pleasure and pain, like what something feels really good, like, how can I make it feel even better?
And it's really more important, it's really important, you know, how do I because I don't want to waste my energy and space for painful or just don't feel right.
The Effect Of The Right Food
Like the right combination is so good. Like, if I choose the right the right food if I really allow my body to relax and take it in versus eating a whole bag of potato chips, like there's a whole different feel.
And I you know, I'm I can go either way, you know, everybody has a moment of potato chips, probably, you know, I think it's human, but the more I can catch myself and go into wait a minute what I really want is a big drink water with lemon that's really what it you know, like just going deeper.
What is it I really thought it can be something simple, but just defining what it is.
Feeling The Divine Connection In Sensuality The gifts, this sensuality from loving animals from knowing yourself. Yes. And you know, unexpected gain also is I feel like I have a deeper intimacy with what I call God or what consciousness is to me. And it's a constant refinement.
It's another relationship, but it's something that I've gotten closer with because going through menopause.
The Best Advise On Menopause
When dealing with difficult emotions go into sensations right away.
Going All The Way Into Menopause
I'm like, I went into it saying, I'm going all the way. So I know I'm going through the change now. So okay, who am I becoming just let me feel it all. I'm not going to avoid it. I'm going to go into it.
And it's, it's almost like going through adolescence, but 100 times harder. That's how I experienced it with challenges and emotions and feeling unsure and feeling almost like um, everything changed.
I felt like my how I am in my body has changed not that it's like suddenly aged, but it's almost like, it feels like a new body feels and it says like a new thing for me to discover who I am as a being in my senses. It's like being brand new.
How The Perception Of Touch Changes
Um, you know, it's funny. I can say I think my perception of touches, stronger and more sensitive. And so like, I I want to wear soft things.
I don't care what it looks like on the outside. I want to feel really good in it.
So like I have a night gown and it's the softest material and I have other night gowns but they are not as soft so this one is so soft. They wear over and over and over again. But there's no baseline.
I don't want anything around my waist anymore. And I don't like to wear bras. I don't have to but like I don't want anything constricting me in it feels like I'm jelly. I'm just gonna let my body and like enjoy, enjoy it.
Modify The Negative Voices In Your Head About Menopause
And I have to modify the there are the voices in my head that I was speaking to a woman about menopause and she said oh, I don't know if I've ever there's a lot of talks about it being really negative.
She said something like I'm never gonna get there. Like you can stop it. You know? I know just like when I was pregnant second time around that.
You hate your body or you can say intentionally No, there's another way being in my body.
I've seen other people do it. There's a way to own this. I just need to figure it out. I need to open up more and be clear that some of those thoughts I don't have to let that go. If I'm judging. My body's changing, you know, it's like old thoughts of what I thought was beautiful.
I have to reframe it and make sure that it's holding all of who I am and not just a small idea of what society thinks is beautiful, you know, and just find it on my own.
The Hot Flashes Experience
When you have a hot flash and no one else is feeling it and you're feeling you're starting to like drenched with sweat and this piece because coming out from your core in all different ways and it's just it can happen for a really long time.
It is like it's just a really odd thing to be like that no one else is feeling it normally either you're in a room, it was hot outside and everybody's hot. Now it's just you're alone feeling this and it's just it's such a biological change. It's remarkable.
The Support Of Women Friends That Are Past Menopause
And I also feel a welcoming in for women like I feel like there is a for all my women friends that are past menopause, like well past it.
There's there's almost like there's something archetypal that's coming in that I felt like when I said, Oh, I now I'm a mother. There's something coming in that I feel held and supported by that is from the older, older generation that I know.
And I feel that like there's a lot of gentleness I feel a lot of support and gentleness as I'm going through this without me having to ask for it. It just is sort of happening. So that's really beautiful.
The Experience Of Time And Timing Yes. Well, it's been an interesting journey with listening to my body. There are times that my body does not want to do what I used to be able to do. I mean, physically, it just does not want to run. I can jog a little bit and I can walk but if I run it feels almost abusive even though it's not it just feels something under the surface feels harsh. And I don't feel like my body wants harsh it wants to soft space.
Even though it's not it just feels something under the surface feels harsh. And I don't feel like my body wants harsh it wants soft spaces. So, um, so there are times that it'll be the middle of the day and I'll feel like I didn't get up first thing in the morning and start with my list and go through my day in the order that I used to do. I still get it done, but I do have those cells like Gosh, you're getting lazy. This may not be good, i don't know i slipping. But then if I'm relaxed around it and just open into that feeling of spaciousness.
I can get so much done in like 30 minutes what used to take me a whole day and it just happens. So there's a deeper sensitivity to timing, just like knowing and not timing or clock timing, but timing like, yeah.
How Menopause Expresses During Ecstatic Dancing
When I put together music I think it starts with intuition really, where I'll get an inspired idea or I'll listen to a lot of music and the choice will either come from kind of this feeling of like yes in my head like yes or no like right off the bat, I can kind of go through a lot right that quickly.
Then I'll go through it and go more into my body or into my feelings like is this evoking a feeling and I'm careful with the feelings it evokes.
I don't want music to avoid any emotion that tried to go so that there's a full range all the time, but sometimes I noticed that the group will feel heavy to begin with.
It'll be many weeks of like, we're going through the depths. And so then I'll might intentionally say okay, we're going to I'm going to build a list that has some something light and fluffy and that feels childlike. Yeah, try to get us out because that's long enough.
Sometimes You Just Have To Surrender
It's funny, just this last weekend, I was laying in bed I like to do my music in bed. I bring my laptop in there and it's like the best setting and to me, it's very sensual. It's a it's a holy experience. I was feeling like I was listening to music and I nothing was touching me and sometimes I'll get this felt like they'll never be any more good music or they'll never be music, another song that will talk to me like it used to something's wrong.
So you know, I think that I like to pray and I'm like, God helped me find some music. I need some music here. I really, you know, feeling weird. I don't get this feeling like I'm not connecting to music very often. And sure enough, I found 26 hours of music, and oh my god, it was so good. It was like some German music I love listening to from different cultures.
So I go as wide as I can. And I like to use a lot of different genres to move different things through me through my nervous system. So um, so that was delightful. That was like such evidence that sometimes you just have to surrender. Trying and open up and it comes you know?
Watch The Sensual Sessions #15
About Kelly Atkins
After 13 years exploring health and wellness in a more traditional way, and 13 years teaching Nia at a black belt level and completing the trainer NGT program, Kelly followed her inner guidance and created "kai". Kai is a movement class ( she also offers kai workshops and immersions) that offers space/time for participants to connect more deeply to their bodies and to move from within. Athletes can adapt and expand more into their "zone" activating deeper awareness of the "edge" and growing, average participants will be able to feel on any given day what their bodies need, and develop the artistry of responding with precision and conditioning their bodies along the way.
Join Kelly´s Ecstatic Dance Sessions at: www.ecstaticdanceglobal.org
What´s Next?
Go To The Sensual Sessions #16: Spiritual Aspects Of Being A Woman
Learn More With The Resources On: Bodymind Philosophy
Get On The VIP List: The Sensual Journey
