#84 Freely Express Pleasure Without Impostor Syndrome — Catherine Lamb
What Impostor Syndrome Is And How It Blocks Freely Expressing Pleasure
Catherine Lamb was a recruitment consultant for the advertising industry and found people doing really fantastic work in advertising and noticed that some of them they would have this terrific new job and then feel very frightened and anxious, wondering “am I good enough? can I do it? I fear being found out” and so that prompted her to research what is this feeling, this phenomenon called “impostor syndrome.”
So there's a conflict between who we are and who we feel we need to pretend to be in order to get success and we set this standard for ourselves it's impossibly high.
Impostor Syndrome orchestrates this feeling of unworthiness, of not being good enough lead to shame which is a horrible feeling and so therefore we put all this complexity of behaviors around it in order to avoid it, we go to a lot of lengths and do a lot of things to avoid that feeling of shame and that is why we want to pretend to be more successful than we are, and it's this pretending that makes us feel like a fraud.
So the problem inside is this self identity shift that happens during transitions. Can be at a new job, new relationship or new stage on a relationship.
How To Navigate Changes Without Getting Caught In Impostor Syndrome
In the transition of becoming something new has at it´s heart the question of what kind of person do you want to be.
Being clear in the person we are becoming in the new situation is self-compassionate and mindful because it helps us to be in this beginner's mind.
How Impostor Syndrome Affects Women
Culturally there´s been a pressure for women to comply with appearance and the role of being a caregiver. To the point that women who put their needs first or thought about their needs have been considered to be selfish.
Specially for women it's quite difficult to get an understanding of the balance around that because that is the conditioning that that we have. For example we feel that it's not very feminine to feel, experience or show anger. And there's a pretense around what we feel we need to show the world in order to be accepted by the world and be successful. Which means there's an inauthenticity there. For example models, whereby their career is built on beauty and beautiful face though we all know that looks fade.
How Super Strengths Can Help You Overcome Impostor Syndrome
Super strengths are such which we're so used to them that we actually just don't see them at all.
You´re so good at what you´re good at that it's a complete blind spot. So an easy way to overcome impostor syndrome is to become aware of them so you can focus on areas where you´re feeling weakness with the angle of our super strengths to enrich your life even more.
How To Freely Express Pleasure
Catherine thinks the freely expressing expressing pleasure is about moving away from this idea of perfectionism which is all about process, all about rules so therefore you can be more in the moment. In life in general and certainly when when you're working business there's always going to be the unexpected and the unpredictable and so therefore it is that ability to think on our feet as we say and I think therefore by feeling that we can get away from the rules we can there be there for far more in the moment, more adaptable, more spontaneous, more creative and more in the front foot. Having everything planned and controlled gives a certain comfort because it does control and it does put a lot of certainty and I it's important to have all this preparation but that is in a certain way like being in the comfort of being on the back foot so when you have these two things of being ready you can respond efectively to what comes up which has the quality of being pleasurable.
Why We Fall Into Self-Sabotage And What To Do About It
An example of self-sabotage is that you have exams and you don't study. You know you should, you want to do well but you don't well. Therefore when the exam result comes through and it's not very good you can say to yourself “ah but that's because I didn't study hard, if I had maybe I would have done better” so therefore you've avoided that failure by self-sabotaging so there's something around that that goes on around impostor syndrome.
Timothy Gway was a tennis coach trying to get his players up to a really good standard and what he realized was that they were so fixed on being good that they had this inner critic voice criticizing them all the time. So he thought a way to of putting them into the moment and get rid of this voice over the shoulder so what he would do is he would ask the players to count how many times the ball rotates in the air knowing they didn´t have to hit it but just count. So what he did was he taught them ways of noticing things in the moment and that then got rid of this critical voice saying “you've got to hit the ball, you've got to go to the net, you've got to do this, you've got to do that.”
To get rid of self sabotage you can devise ways to stay present such as keeping a piece of paper in your pocket to write down factual observations about your doings.
The ABC Method To Deal With Impostor Syndrome
In the ABC method, you 1) acknowledge it, then 2) breathe and then you, 3) challenge it. The acknowledgement is quite important because in some ways Impostor syndrome is there to protect us because it stops us from feeling shame and feeling unworthy and so that's why we have this these elaborate behaviors to stop that feeling. So with the ABC you can become aware of it and coming back the curiosity in your beginners mind that will allow for development.
Ready To Overcome Thinking You Aren´t Sensual?
Become comfortable in the knowing of your innate sensuality and “Freely Express Pleasure Without Impostor Syndrome” here on episode # 84 of The Sensual Sessions Podcast with expert Catherine Lamb.
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About Catherine Lamb
Certified Executive Coach from Henley Business School and accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) which is the only globally recognized, independent coaching authority. I specialise in career transformation and work with high performers who are stuck and feel they aren’t being used to their full potential. I coach high performers who want more from their career but don’t necessarily know what that is or where to look. Perhaps you lack the confidence to step up into a new role or you want to leave your current career but don’t know what to do instead. I work with you to identify your dream role and what you really want from your career and show you how to go about gaining a competitive edge in a crowded job market. My coaching expertise is under-pinned by my in-depth knowledge of recruitment. For over 15 years I worked as a headhunter helping high achievers who either wanted to get ahead in their existing sector or forge a new career. In addition to extensive UK based experience, I have an excellent multicultural background having lived and worked overseas with experience of setting up new businesses in Central and Eastern Europe and recruiting and leading large teams. I have coached mid-level managers to managing directors in charge of multi-million-pound budgets across a wide range of industries. I will help you craft the career you really want, rather than being stuck with what you’ve already got.
Learn more at:
https://www.spectrum360.co.uk/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-lamb-uk/
New Here?
Hola, I´m Candia Raquel!
A Mexican sensualist, scientist, artist and woman that hosts The Sensual Sessions Podcast and Founded Centro De Poder®, who enjoys contemplating trees and drinking tea.
Dedicated to helping workaholics (like you) overcome numbness and embody sensuality through somatic movement.
Sense your sensual fire to share the flame!
What´s Next
Go to The Sensual Sessions Podcast Episode #85: How To Embody The Sensual Harmony Of Aikido — Paul Linden (Coming Soon)
Learn more with resources on: Sensual Confidence Resources
Discover: The Ecstatic Breathing Practice
