Candia Raquel Garibay Camarena Founder of Centro De Poder, Sensualist, Scientist, Artist, Woman and Jason Julius, Intimacy Coach in the Cover of The Sensual Sessions Episode 66 Increasing Womanly Pleasure And Orgasm Ability.

#66 Increasing Womanly Pleasure And Orgasm Ability — Jason Julius

How To Start Increasing Womanly Pleasure And Orgasm Ability

A lot of guys are discovering that they can have a more pleasurable sex life for themselves out of pleasing their woman. But they don´t really have access to understanding how to do that.

And a lot of women are unaware of their own orgasm ability and don´t feel deserving of pleasure.

Female pleasure and orgasms are still pretty much in a black box few people is talking about. So it´s important to help people understand not only from a guy's perspective how to touch his woman but how to you know approach her mind and her whole being and so it's it's really been sort of an organic thing the unfolding of intimate pleasure.

The starting point for increasing womanly pleasure and orgasm ability is just really understanding that female orgasms happen in the mind, not just in the physical.


Overcoming The Cultural Objectification Of Women

It´s important that men also get pleasure from creating or eliciting pleasure in their woman because this means a cultural paradigm given that there´s still a prevailing culture on objectification of women as a means to provide pleasure to men. Like we see it in the videos, in the songs, magazines. But women mere existence is not for pleasing the masculine.

Everyone is at a different place in their journey and I think a lot of it has to do with how they grew up and how they received love.

There´s a lot of nice guys that receive love by pleasing, this is a strange correlation but when you grow up pleasing the opposite sex parent.

But then there's a lot of guys that fell into the lifestyle when they're younger of “it's all about me and I'm just seeking for” after a while we realize that we as human beings are more happy when we serve other people.

There's something really deep down in every one of us you know even the person who is right now on a stage of just being all about themselves but they eventually come full circle to the idea that it's not just about me, specially when you're really with the right person.

A side note for some guys who still don't think about their partner's pleasure, it's just really the more you give the more you get. The more in life we give the better for ourselves, so specially with women, you know give them full body amazing orgasms and they're gonna want sex more often. A lot of guys are like “oh my wife doesn't want to have sex as often as I do” it's like well, when she's enjoying it a lot she will.


Why It´s Harder For Women To Welcome Pleasure

Traditionally it's been much easier for men to reach orgasm. Maybe Nature made it that way so that we procreate because if you know a guy's not able to ejaculate then there would be no procreation.

But from the pleasure perspective the mind is so much more important on the the feminine side.

Women have kind of really gotten the wrong story growing up whereas men just react to their physical body, they start getting erections when younger and be like “oh look I can ejaculate”, while it can seem that a woman's story is a little bit more complicated because her genitals are tucked in, they're not standing out, so then what does this pleasure mean and so much of it is inside the mind and the ability to be present.

So ultimately it's just a different journey for each.

Men are a little bit more used to being selfish about their own pleasure. And women in general are tend to be more givers than receivers so a lot of times it can be challenging for women to accept the pleasure that's being given to them whereas men are just like “okay I'm I'm here for it”.

It's it's just kind of like you know just laying back and a lot of that has to do with the narrative that we hear like the rap video with a guy with 25 women, but if you live in Southern California and have seen behind the scenes of all this stuff, then you know the second the camera stopped those women walk away and they ask where their paycheck is. That wasn't real life and so then men are trying to live up to this idea and so they've had that narrative in their mind like “yes it's okay to pursue my own pleasure and pursue having 10 women all around just pleasing me” whereas women have seen the same narrative and they're like “oh am I supposed to be pleasing him I don't have any good Role Models you know”.

And on top of that the narrative that young men and women here is guys are just like they got laid when they're younger they're like you know championed on like that was a good thing. But for women they're ashamed about it they're told “you know what are you doing you might get pregnant”, all these all these things can be very shameful particularly depending on what culture and Country you grow up in.

A lot of men and women are treated totally differently, so women have the disadvantage of having to overcome shame on top of just accepting their own pleasure.

They've sometimes even been conditioned to think that it's not okay. So that's really important for them to really embrace their body and their sexuality. While I think it's maybe a little bit easier from both the cultural standpoint and just a physiology standpoint for guys to just naturally want to or be able to do that.


Women Are Just As Sexually Driven To Pleasure Than Men

Our culture is awakening to that women are just as sexually driven to for pleasure. So yes, the consequences can be slightly different but hopefully if she gets pregnant, hopefully, the guy will at least even if they're not going to stay together will do his part in in that kid's life.

And society hopefully holds them accountable for that too, so it's not so one-sided that she's the only responsible and he can just totally run away. Though there's notoriously been a lot of that in the past.


Understanding Women Orgasms Will Change The Narrative

The narrative will change when when we start to understand how hyper orgasmic women can be, like giving a woman 10 orgasms in a row and you're just kind of like “oh man I had one ejaculation and she's you know coming over and over and over again” that's like a whole different story than what a lot of women are experience experiencing in their own relationship.

It can be like settling to realize that the pleasure potential and capacity for for a woman's body or physiology is it's immense.


The Endless Genital Pleasure In Women

It's it's hard to tell where the genitals begin and where the genitals end. Talking to female friends we arrived to our mystical conclusions that we are all sex. Like the vagina is connected with the heart and the heart is connected with the brain and the skin.

It's like physically very clear that the genitals are the genitals for men. But for women it's as if sex is less localized and more all-encompassing.

Then you get to understand that sex is better, for many, if you have the dishes washed, if there's a good lighting in the room and so on.


Feminine Meditative State Prior To Orgasm

Female orgasms happen in the brain. A lot of new research is showing that prior to orgasm women are in almost a meditative state, like a flow state and so it's almost like the alpha brain waves are high and you're in this total state of presence almost just lost in the moment.


Main Challenge Women Face To Orgasm

We think about how hard is it to go from your busy life to getting into that state you know before orgasm that's kind of a jump if you don't do it very often right and so our our modern lifestyle is somewhat to blame because we are not present partly at all so we've conditioned our minds to be addicted to the thinking mind so we're constantly thinking, thinking, thinking thinking.

Well now think when you're with your partner can feel like a huge jump especially if the guy is only lasting two minutes. So of course the guy can do on his part to last longer than two minutes for sure but even 10, 20 minutes 30 minutes can even still be hard for her to switch gears to become more present and not to mention be in that state of feeling desire right and so she needs context right and so men are turned on instantly like a light switch, we see you know and, not all the time right but, we can just start getting an erection and we're ready for sex or we can feel like we want sex before we even see the naked body.

But a lot of women experience desire backwards, they need the context first and that's why a lot of times foreplay is important, guys just want to jump right into it because they're already turned on.


Becoming Present For Pleasure

What we're finding for women is the improved ability through meditation to get back to that sort of meditative flow state after being busy-minded.

It´s like if trying to be intimate with your partner and you're finally letting yourself become present and right then that's when you know that worry from something at work comes up that you know you're kind of like “okay I I don't want to deal with this right now.” So you have the skill to navigate through your mind.


Emotional Intelligence And Frequency Of Orgasm

There´re studies showing that emotional intelligence in women is correlated with frequency of orgasm.

A big piece of that is that they're able to navigate and say now's not the time for this thing or they're able to understand all the associations the mind is making that aren't really relevant in the present moment and so when you combine emotional intelligence with meditation you get to really just understanding and connect to your body.

You put just a silent focus on being present because it's the part that's always grabbing like “am I okay?”, we have this going on it's trying to constantly keep us safe and it needs that time even just 15-20 minutes a day to know that it's okay to be present and if you don't do that regularly well you can't expect to do it when you're with your partner really connecting with your body.


Knowing The Pattern Of Orgasm

Most highly orgasmic women know their pattern for orgasm so they'll know sort of what gets them turned on, where they need to kind of put their mind to feel desire or even feel desirable. And then they'll even know their pattern of how they like to be touched.

But a lot of women have never explored their body. In fact one of the things that stands out particularly in the older generation, is how many women don't know where their own clitoris is. How many women just have never explored themselves or how many women call it their vagina instead of their vulva when the whole package is called their vulva because culture doesn't teach them the correct terminology. How do you even explore yourself if you're already starting off from that? ”This is my vagina”, “well no that's your vulva and this is your clitoris”, this are all the different parts nobody ever showed them and so just exploring their own body and actually making a point to do it regularly and then know their own pattern right is really important.


Orgasmic Pleasure Is Your Birthright

It's important to realize that we´re a whole being and sexuality is part of our expression. It permeates into all parts of our lives.

If this is a good moment for “Increasing Womanly Pleasure And Orgasm Ability” watch Episode #66 of The Sensual Sessions podcast with Intimacy Coach, Jason Julius.


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About Jason Julius

Jason Julius is a sex coach with over 15 years of experience teaching couples all over the world how to have incredible experiences in the bedroom. Surprised with how little information there is in the mainstream world around sex, female orgasms, and sexual performance Jason sought out uncommon techniques and practices that would help the average man or woman elevate their intimate experiences. Jason is known for creating a clean, respectful, mature, intelligent conversation around having great sex. Jason wanted to create a place for people to discover a deeper level of understanding, especially when it comes to the mental aspects of female orgasms. Jason began posting intimate details of his experiences and has since amassed a loyal following on YouTube of others seeking a deeper understanding of what it takes to be an amazing lover. Frustrated by the negative beliefs that are perpetuated by the adult film industry, Jason separates what he teaches by creating content without nudity, done in a tasteful way that reaches people who are genuinely looking to please their partner and have more confidence in themselves when it comes to sex.

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What´s Next

Go to The Sensual Sessions Podcast Episode #67: Unleash Your Sensual Voice To Sound Seductive — Cynthia Reséndiz

Learn more with resources on: Sensual Confidence Resources

Discover: The Ecstatic Breathing Practice